A Fantasy of Inattention

One thing that I find particularly interesting through all this is how my own fetishes and fantasies have changed.  I was never particularly interested in feet; my Mistress has successfully (and deliberately) made her feet an object of sexual interest.  I do not know that I would call it a full-fledged foot fetish, but it is certainly headed in that direction.  My fantasies historically have focused on unnamed, unspecific dominant females doing all sorts of fantastic (and sometimes extreme) things to and with me.  While they were very erotic, they are generally not the sort of thing I would ever consent to in real life for a number of reasons.

Over the past few weeks, the nature of my fantasies have changed.  They are now based firmly upon my Mistress, and not some female conjured up by my imagination.  The behaviors and activities are also a very different set; while they are a far cry from vanilla, they would perhaps be considered more 'tame' by many who like to explore the depths of BDSM; however, they are generally much more in line with things my Mistress does enjoy doing.

For instance, as I was laying awake during the early hours of the morning (very, very horny, with a green scrub pad down my underpants to make humping the bed intentionally or unaware very uncomfortable), I had a fantasy scenario running through my head.  In it, my Mistress locked me in a custom steel chastity device, muzzled me, collared and cuffed me with locking leather, and ordered me to be 'Silent' every night overnight.  Aside from using her toys on herself to make herself come next to me in the bed, she sexually ignored me, leaving me wanting to moan and beg for her attention.  However, in this fantasy, violating said 'Silence' resulted in most unpleasant results, something along the line of being handed a blanket and made to sleep in the bathtub or in her closet.

I am not quite sure why the nature of my fantasies have changed so drastically.  But, it has been so.  Fortunately, my efforts as a submissive at redirecting my energy and focus more toward my Mistress have not gone unrewarded.  My Mistress has been enjoying herself and her dominance more than either of us expected.  She has enjoyed giving me spankings, nasty tittie-twisters (she has over the course of our marriage gotten very good at this), and having me helping much more around the house.  I suspect, however, that the thing she is enjoying the most is how often and how effectively she has been able to say 'no':  "Mistress, can you please..."  "No."  "Mistress, may I please...."  "No."  "Mistress, may I ask..."  "Silence, pet."

It's almost perverse;  I suspect often she tells me 'no' just because she can.  If there is any form of D/s that she truly enjoys, I suspect this one is the greatest.  Ironically, though I actually want her to/let me to/answer me, her "No's" do more to dominate me and establish herself as the being truly in charge than anything else either of us has done in this relationship.